All posts by Crystal Meh


Donut Burger | I’m srsly the mother ffing burger king

Serve it at your next BBQ:

We all have friends or family members who are vegetarians, and lets admit it, it totally blows. These donut burgers are a great way to say, “Hey, You’re a person too. Im sorry that for most of the summer you haven’t been able partake in saucy hand held foods, and you have had to stand around looking dignified,  eating sides and salads off a PLATE w a FORK.”  If you aren’t destroying a burger and your white jeans, wishing that you remembered to bring napkins up to the roof, lets face it, you aren’t really enjoying summer.  So yeah.  Donut burger. You’re Welcome.

 Creating this masterpiece does require some skill, so have the least drunk person at the ‘q prepare it. We are dealing w donuts here. You don’t want to fuck this up.


You will need:

1 vanilla donut w sprinkles

1 chocolate donut

Cut the vanilla donut in half.  Place the chocolate donut in between the 2 halves. Enjoy responsibly.



Yeah, wow, wonderful, you guys are committing to each other, but do you honestly have to make ALL of your friends and family commit to a weekend in Long Island, celebrating you!?  I am lucky enough at this point in my life to have zero friends mature enough to be committing to a lifetime or even a few years w another person (hey, the definition of marriage is subjective these days).  Therefore my summer weekends are blissfully free to go where the wind blows me, and I generally plan my weekend trips around how many Wendy’s we hit up along the way.

I’m not going to say this lifestyle is EASY. I mean, dressing for an evening, brunch or casual liaison at Wendy’s takes the same care and attention to detail as planning the perfect wedding look. You want to look hot as balls, but like you did it by accident, so you know, no one gets jealous.  You want people to know you are the coolest person there, but you don’t want to look like to you tried too hard, or everyone one will be like who the f is this chick?  Here are some ideas:



How about an “I like to party” t-shirt so the cashier respects you? How about some vans, so the other diners know you are mad down to earth? Baggy acid wash jeans hide stains remarkably well and sit low at the hip so  your belly is free do its thaaang… You definitely don’t want to limit yourself to 1 spicy chicken sandwich, or have to sacrifice a frosty because of a poor wardrobe choice.  A hat and some dope shades reinforce what your t has already established. You. like. to. party.  So, where the f is the extra Honey Mustard I ast for!?!


Living like a crystal king

Living like a Crystal_King | I got 2 many rings!

Have you ever thought to yourself – I would love to be a fashion blogger, but I simply can’t afford 1 ring for every finger , and 2 for some fingers.  Great news guys,  H & M has this great little pack of all the rings you need for the job for under $5. I’m not saying its CHEAP, per se. But it does cost less than a Wendy’s Spicy Chicken value meal, in NYC. Not  that I am saying you shld forego the meal, bc it is the most wonderful meal you will ever eat. It transcends value, to be honest, but so do the rings. Its not just 7 rings in one pack. Its a NEW CAREER!! No more excuses. I’M A BLOGGER NOW.


content3 yo, my hand’s in heaven rite abt nowz.