Its never enough

abtmeh

CRYSTAL_MEH | EDITOR & CHEF

crystal_meh started as a training and tanning live journal so _meh’s long distance body building coach could keep track of her progress in blog-time, via the internets. _meh never dreamed it would earn cost her in the low $100s, evolving into a full-blown lifestyle experience, enjoyed by several people. She dreams of one day mastering Reza Farahan’s laugh and/or crying voice, and has never let dial up slow her down.
I wrote this in the third person bc I really relly love u guys.
XO,
crystal_meh

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LIGHT SHINES | OW.

These guys are cheap enough that you may be able to buy them for all your friends, so you can experience the experience that is described in the sunglasses inspired poetry above. That is, if you are like me and have only one friend and a $6 “sunglasses for friends” budget.
Sunglasses | Sunglasses

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PARTY 4 YOUR FEET | PARTY IN DA POOL

Whether you are partying all night preparing a lol_lunchbox or if you are attending an actual rave, you are going need comfortable footwear that is color-coordinated to the situation and also lets people know that though you are sporty, you are def down to party. These cost $220, there goes my molly budget. : / Speaking of dope, how sick is the pool at Hotel Saint Cecilia? I really relly wanna see IRL (In Rave Life).
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Sneaks | Sneaks | Sneaks

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LOL_LUNCHBOX | THIS CABBAGE CRAY

During the week, (meaning mon-wed, sometimes thurs, bc lets be honest, thursday night is basically the weekend) I try to eat “super healthy” “low cal meals” in order to save up for the calorie fuckfest // crystal_ballout // all day eating bonanzas that make my weekends wonderful.
This shit is so healthy its HI. LAR. IOUS. That’s why its called Lol_LunchBox – GET IT?
So, if you would like to spend hours each night in the kitchen preparing your lunch for the next day, Lol_Lunchboxes are totally for you.

First Up: ‘Dis Cabbage Cray:
Even if you have never thought to yourself “Wow, I would love to eat half a red cabbage for lunch”, you should still give this salad a try, if only for the colors alone. Talk about tripping balls – fushcia, bright orange, hot green, you’re going to feel like you are eating a fucking rave. Like, a rave. Of fucking. Sounds exciting right? Yeah, well, so is this salad. The look on your coworkers face like ‘What is that!? Damn, I wish i had a box filled w fuchsia goodness” (Why are people ALWAYS saying that to me!?) is totally worth all the shredding, squeezing and weird fresh cut red cabbage smell.

You will need:
1/2 a Red Cabbage
1 Big Carrot (Fuck baby carrots, they suck. Get a big ol’ fucking root, like God intended. And try to make its organic, like God intended. It really does makes a difference w carrots.)
1 Med Zuke
3 Scallions
1 – 1.5 HARD Nectarines

Gettin Saucey:
Grated Gingaaah, as much as you want! Depends how spicy you want this shit.
2 Lemons
Coarse Salt
Fish Sauce to taste
Red wine or Apple cider Vinegar to taste
Honey, Agave, Sugar, somethin sweet, to taste

To finish ‘dis bitch:
Get your prots ya body needs plus some the creamy, crunchy goodness every meal should have from
1/2 an Avocado
Salted Cashews

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Ok, Go –
Slice the cabbage super thin. I just got a mandolin, its terrifying. But those willowy tender crunchy threads it creates are so worth the skin (plus its a great protein kick!). As I grate the cabb I’m throwing it in a big bowl, tossing it w lemon juice and salt so it doesn’t brown and we get the fuchsia poppen out the gate. Next slice the nectarine into super thin half moons. Julienne the zuke. Grate or shave the carrot. Toss everything in w the cabbage and lemon juice and salt as you go.

In a lil bowl or cup on the side add sauce ingredients – careful w the fish sauce, one drop too much and your dressing goes from umami to uyucky. I think of the ginger, vinegar//lemon juice as the base, alternate a little bit of fish sauce and sweetener until you have the perfect tangy, salty, spicy sweet combo.

Pour over your veggies, mix up and distribute into lunch boxes. Make sure you take the one with the most nectarines. Give the other boxes to your friends, family, peeps on the street who look like they could use a colorful, healthy lunch. Before you eat add sliced avo and salted cashews. #4evaYUM

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Donut Burger | I’m srsly the mother ffing burger king

Serve it at your next BBQ:

We all have friends or family members who are vegetarians, and lets admit it, it totally blows. These donut burgers are a great way to say, “Hey, You’re a person too. Im sorry that for most of the summer you haven’t been able partake in saucy hand held foods, and you have had to stand around looking dignified,  eating sides and salads off a PLATE w a FORK.”  If you aren’t destroying a burger and your white jeans, wishing that you remembered to bring napkins up to the roof, lets face it, you aren’t really enjoying summer.  So yeah.  Donut burger. You’re Welcome.

 Creating this masterpiece does require some skill, so have the least drunk person at the ‘q prepare it. We are dealing w donuts here. You don’t want to fuck this up.

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You will need:

1 vanilla donut w sprinkles

1 chocolate donut

Cut the vanilla donut in half.  Place the chocolate donut in between the 2 halves. Enjoy responsibly.