Its never enough

Derivativez | RiRi Loves Me

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Can I accept Rihanna’s Dior eyewear collab as confirmation that Rihanna reads this blog? Confirmation that she loves me? That I am her muse? That she worships me? RiRi if you are reading this: Yes, I will go out with you. Don’t expect me to “work work work work work” though. I just lay there.

Who knows what you will be inspired to create once you peep this bangin salad recipe: This Cabbage Cray

SUMMER YUM | SUPER YUM

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after reading the omnivores dilemma i was a vegetarian for 2 days. not sure if it was the lack of flesh in my diet or the actual contents of the book, but i spiraled into a pretty bad depression that was only slightly remedied by a Titus Pullo marathon. luckily, my memory has a remarkably low capacity, so I was 3 seamless orders deep before i realized that my whole-hearted, quarter-week stint into vegetarianism was over. and the timing couldn’t be better. Summer is here, people. and that means time to give up on your diet, because we have arrived, and you look beautiful just the way you are.

the best art i have ever created:
wuf yum3 | burgers or chicken? BURGERS. | hotdog waterfall | italian sausage; slow, then fast.

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MIDDLE EARTH MUST-HAVES | RAGIN’ IN RIVENDELL

It’s fab, fab, fab. If you aren’t wearing tasteful sparkles you are nothing. If you aren’t wearing something see through, something flowing, you are NOTHING. Don’t get this wrong guys. It could really negatively effect the rest of your trip (and the rest of MIDDLE EARTH) if the elves don’t like your outfit. Remember to pace yourself at dinner and not act too bored when the songs go on for FREAKIN ever. This party could last for eternity – you want to be COMFORTABLE. Whether you want to go all out in a see-thru cosmic body “covering” or go etherial good girl in a chinatown dollarstore duvet inspired coat, Alexander McQueen RTW Fall 2016 vibes are on point for an all night rager ELFSTYLE.

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MIDDLE EARTH MUST-HAVES | ROLLING UP TO RIVENDELL | DONT FUCK THIS UP | IT’S NBD THO

Before you roll up to Rivendell quickly change into an outfit that exudes disheveled glamour. Something carefree yet fabulous that says, “Yes, I have been wearing crushed velvet the entire time I was fleeing my home and scrambling through unknown terrains. Watch out for your man Arwen – he LOVES IT.” You should probably burn your jumpsuit and Vetements hoodie before you get there, because in Rivendell that shit is the equivalent of Merrills and an EMS fleece. Destroy the evidence before Elrond finds out and makes that judgey disappointed face that he makes when he is judging you and is disappointed.

Isabel Marant | Vetements | Isabel Marant

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MIDDLE EARTH MUST-HAVES | THE SHIRE AND BEYOND

Fleeing from The Shire into the unknown lands beyond is no joke. You need some gear that packs serious functionality but you also need to look fresh as hell for the hotties you are bound to meet on the road.

1. Stella gets it. This look features a puffer that doubles as a sleeping bag + reflective copper has elven level camo powers in the deep woods. Quilted shorts that keep your bootie warm yet leave your legs free for scrambling over rivers and sneaking into Farmer Maggot’s to snag mushrooms.

2. When you are camping with Aragorn the only tops and bottoms you will be thinking about have nothing to do with getting dressed. This Chalayan jumpsuit is perfect for those carefree days watching him climb trees, track down animals and kidnapped friends, daydream and do other cool ranger shit in the woods. Bonus for the XXL pockets for nuts, berries, Athelas leaf gathering. You never know when you or one of your friends might get stabbed by a Morgul blade. HAHAHAA camping is FUN!

3. Not recommended if you are actively being hunted by a ring wraith!! L.O.L.!!! Vetements brings us a comfy ass outfit is perfect for when you run into Tom Bombadil – The hoodie says “chill af” but thigh high cognac boots lend a sexy wood nymph vibe we know FOR A FACT that he is into.

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MIDDLE EARTH MUST HAVES

Packing for a quest in middle earth isn’t as easy throwing your precious in a bag and a telling your sexy little gardner to carry it. You never know when the eye could be turned on you, and Sauron is a lot like the internet – once he has seen a bad outfit, it could potentially haunt you for eternity. This is a comprehensive guide breaks down the essential looks you will need to pack for each section of your journey. You might want to see if Bill Ferny has any extra ponies for sale, because you are going to need A LOT of options.

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ONLY 1 MONTH LATE | VALENTINES DAY | SELF LOVE | WHAT TO WEAR WHEN WATCHING VIKINGS

Lonely Label is pretty kewl. They make cute-ass underthings for women who wear lingerie as a love letter to themselves and celebrate women of all shapes, sizes and body hair choices on their Instagram. Infamous self-lover Lena Dunham is a fan. TBH the love letters I write myself are usually written in lo mien, punctuated with general tsos chicken and sealed with tofu and mixed vegetables. And sometimes the Thai version of that and sometimes the Indian. See Lonely Label? I am open-minded too. I don’t really WANT to cut down to ONE entree and ONE app per seamless “love letter”, so I don’t see myself being able to afford designated lingerie to watch Vikings any time super soon, but a gal CAN DREAM.